This September I am taking part in a Blog chain at Absolute Write, a Writers forum. The challenge is to write either a scene or a flash fiction inspired by the previous person’s selected subject criteria of words. The general subject criteria is as follows:
1. a name (of a character)
2. an action verb (eating, drinking etc)
3. a noun (knife, bag etc)
The next person must then, include those three words in their own story. Fokker Aeroplanbau started the chain with an intricate story of place and thrill about a man’s movement in the murder of Olivier Besancenot, thoughtless of his own mind. The story was so delicate and descriptive in every moving scene, truly inspiring.
The next participants in the September’s blog chain are:
Forbidden Snowflake
RavenCorinnCarluk
Lostwanderer5
LilliCray
Aimeelaine
Claire Crossdale
bsolah
Angyl78
FreshHell
Lady Cat
ealexis
Crayonz
Razibahmed
Proach
Tara McClendon
MGraybosch
shethinkstoomuch
Good luck to all, and most of all have fun! This is a wonderful idea for creativity to ignite, and just flow in the imagination of the story, whatever it may be as it unfolds.
My subject words to be included and for inspiration are: Jack, running, wallet.
He had a way with me, a way which I was oblivious to. His smile, that comfortable smile would make my head fill up with doubt. I couldn’t quite understand what he meant, when that crooked smile came out. Perhaps I was chasing demons in my mind upon imagining it, but I knew it still made me uncomfortable.
In his arms, I was safe and I knew that no other man would approximate. I always thought to myself that this was the kind of love that you move mouintains with, but intuitively I was wrong. I was misguiding myself to think of such invention.
When you are with someone for so long you don’t often realize the simplest and most blatant of things. What shows is the controversy of the people, the years, all crammed up, unbearable. It’s no wonder that I loose it sometimes, I don’t know what’s real, and how I feel.
What can provoke such feeling is often the depth of embrace I have for him. There doesn’t need to be any kind of persistency in knowing what I have, but I still have it. Perhaps it’s just a phase, but even then I realize, that I don’t want to live a life of phase with my Jack. I want to build a love around what I can have, and understand, not what I ought to do. I want to create a life with him, and I know that I must respect who he is, and his life.
He’s always running and he will never return. I know he loves me, as I see it in his eyes even though I still get lumbered with that same old discomfort in his smile. If in doubt, do you always doubt or do you let it go? I always feel it this close, especially with that smile. I suppose I would let it go, if I had the courage in myself to realize that he feels the same way.
I wait and wait until this happens and I realize now, that no matter what we both want, love is irreplaceable. I look at him, his smile once more. It begins to fade and I see him for what he is, for the first time. Past the smile. Human. I love him, and I will never forget him, the man I’m never tired of looking at. My Jack, that torn up memory in my mind, there in that faded wallet of 1956.
The subject words for the next person are:
1. Vera
2. Killing
3. Gun
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Oooh, I like that ending. Makes it very tragic.
Thank you Raven Corinn Carluk,
It is good to see you here.
I am glad that you like the ending. I just went for it, and it just flowed. I think I knew I had to include those three words in there, so I just let my imagination take me where the story went, and I felt this story to be tainted from the start.
Tell us if we are wrong but we had this vision of him that assassin from Fokker story holding close your doubtful female after returning home from the church. He doesn’t tell her where has as been and she does not know what he does so naturally in builds in her apprehension. We like it and think it works on it own too, as a female prospective piece.
Greetings Simone and Claire,
You know I hadn’t quite pictured it when I wrote it, but now that you mention it, it does work well with that character in Fokkers story. Seems like the previous story balances this one well, as it zooms in on a closer scene into the characters personal life, a loved one. Also the fact that the character in Fokker’s story is always on the run coincides with Jack’s uncomfortable smile.
I am glad you made that link, as I know now that the excerpt is open to many unfolding paths for a story. Thank you so much for noticing, and visiting. I appreciate your feedback, and I am glad that you both enjoyed it.
Interesting take Simon and Claire, I was thinking something akin to that. The openess, ambiguity, of both the pieces written so far gives me enough structure to have a tease of a thought, yet enough gray to let my imagination spend an entirely too enjoyable time connecting.
I found the piece an exceptional look, rightly or wrongly, into my own piece of beautiful. She talks so long on how my mind seems to be a rubix cube, with all the colors missing, and it is up to her to crack it.
The mystery, the guarded smile, all remind me in some way of me… Through her eye’s.
If that makes any sense at all!
Fokker Aeroplanbau´s last blog ..Absolute Write; Blog Chain
Hello Fokker Aeroplanbau,
Thanks for stopping by, it’s good to hear your thoughts.
I am content that you enjoyed the piece, and you could connect very much with it in your own way. I think that’s very important, to make the reader understand/relate. To have the reader feel like they are that character is another great accomplishment. I am glad that you felt this way, as it demonstrates the power of language, and how it brings people together.
Fokker, That makes perfect sense and thank you.
Such a turn of event at the end. Why don’t you develop it into a full length short story. I think that some of us would surely enjoy that.
Razib Ahmed´s last blog ..Besiktas vs Manchester United Preview and Live Score: Champions League 2009-10
Hey Razib,
Good to see you here!
That would definetly be an idea.
Thank you so much for coming by, and reading it.
Like the others have said, I really enjoyed your ending. By introducing the photo in the wallet at the end of the story, it has more of an impact on the reader. Very nice, Ana!
JLC´s last blog ..Weekend Writing Prompt
Hey JLC,
Thanks very much for your thoughts. I appreciate that you liked the story, and it made an impact. Your thoughts are very much valued, from a writers perspective. Thank you.
Until Simone and Claire mentioned it, I never saw the connection between yours and Fokker’s stories, but now that it’s out there it does seem like a continuation from a different point of view.
This was a beautiful piece all on its own though. I especially loved the ending.
Hey Carol,
Thanks for stopping by.
It is nice to see you here.
I also very much like Simone and Claire’s thought of connection. It’s amazing what one idea of notice can do.
I am happy that you enjoyed the story overall, and that the ending was a joy to you.
This is a great piece of flash fiction. And I especially liked that you went away from the obvious.
From the three words I gave you, the obvious thing would have been someone stealing a wallet, physically running. You made it completely different. And I liked that.
Lost Wanderer´s last blog ..Afraid? Who Me?
Hello Lost Wanderer,
It is nice to see you here.
I am pleased that everyone has enjoyed this piece of flash fiction, as I wasn’t expecting such embrace. I am flattered with your thoughts and grateful that you find it so, and delighted that you like this story in this way.
Thank you.
Nice! I like this and I had the same thought as Simon and Claire, that the two pieces could be opposites of the same coin.
Claudia´s last blog ..Bento Me!
Hello Claudia,
Thanks for visiting, and am happy that you like the story.
It’s amazing how an idea can follow through.
Oh wow. I’m sitting down and trying catch up on this blog chain, so I had the opportunity to read Fokker’s right before this one. It definitely seems to link together. =] But this one struck a chord and I can actually hea. The ending’s so sad though. Just makes you want to go “siiiiigh.”
DniC´s last blog ..Flight Project
“But this one struck a chord and I can actually hear her voice and it’s very wistful.” was what I meant, but the computer bailed on me.
DniC´s last blog ..Flight Project
Greetings DniC,
Thanks for stopping by, and it’s good to see you here.
I am glad that this story touched you, and you can hear where the character is coming from.
I’m right behind you, on catching up on the blog chain. I have been away, so am interested to know what the rest of our fellow AW bloggers have created, in contribution of September’s chain.
Great piece of writing..
I am subscribing your blog posts!!
Keep up the good work!!
Ujjwal Kanth´s last blog ..Translate with Google!!!
Thank you so much!
I am glad you enjoyed it, and thank you again.